


I know you haven't made your mind up yet.

by AuthorInDistress



Series: To Make You Feel My Love. [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Breast-feeding, M/M, Mutant Tony Stark, OC, Past Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 02:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorInDistress/pseuds/AuthorInDistress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint and Steve come back another day only to find out that Tony's planning on leaving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I know you haven't made your mind up yet.

**Author's Note:**

> When something makes you cringe enough writing it, you know you need to post it before you think better of it.

.

Tony's in bed when they're finally able to come back and see him.

Peggy's lying beside him on her stomach, looking around at the room while Tony dangles one of his suit bracelets before her face and smiles whenever she tries to bat at it; losing balance a few times and rolling to give herself a better aim.

Sitting up sharply when the two of them walk inside unannounced, he stares - shocked for a moment - before relaxing when he realizes who it is and laying back down over the pillows, "Don't make me immediately regret giving you a key, you could at least _knock_." Clint shrugs at him with a half-smile while Steve simply walks past and inside, looking around through to the other rooms, searching for -

"He's not here." 

Okay. Well, that doesn't exactly stop him from looking but he does relax a little, "Where is he?"

Tony lifts Peggy into sitting up by holding onto her hands and gently tugging, watching as she smiles at the movement, and directs his answer to her instead, "He's stocking up for me. Isn't he darling." Peggy gurgles in reply, squealing when Tony then lifts her into his arms to make room for Steve when he comes to sit beside them, turning her on his lap until she faces the room and not his stomach, "So." He then says, lightly to the both of them, "When should I start to expect SHIELD agents swarming the place?"

For God's sake.

Steve glares at him, letting Clint talk instead, "Just because you don't trust us, doesn't mean _we're_ not true to our word Tony. We, at least, trust that you know what you're doing and if we said that no one's coming, then no one is. Okay?" Tony just shrugs, jiggling Peggy's hands up and down with the grip that she has on both his forefingers, "Why's Loki need to stock up?"

"Because we're leaving." The bottom drops out from beneath Steve's stomach and he turns to stare at Clint for a moment, shock filling his blue eyes enough that the red surrounding them from lack of sleep is shown in abundance.

Clint scowls darkly in contrast, not looking the least bit surprised at Tony's answer, and Steve sits up a little straighter to match that anger when it finally catches up with him; "We just _told_ you no one's coming!" Tony gives him a look filled with a thousand dry words, and Steve suddenly knows what he's actually saying. "I never pegged you for being obedient, Tony."

"Excuse me?" Sensing a little tension, Peggy rubs at her face with the sleeve of her white onesie, her tiny baby babble becoming distressed. "It was _my_ idea, for your information." Tony continues, softer to let his daughter relax but icily enough to let them both know that that went a little too far, "As soon as I told Loki about you guys finding me here - "

"You _told_ him?"

" - I said that _even though_ you'd promised that no one would come after us, I still thought that it would better for us to be on the safe side." Leather creaks audibly when Clint's arms tighten under his jacket, flexing. Tony ignores it. "So. We're leaving. Loki's gone to get some new diapers and powder and so on and the bags are packed - "

"Tony -"

"The bags are _packed_. It's done." The iron man helmet clatters to the ground when Clint's arm swipes at it, slamming into a wall and cracking the plaster there enough to make Tony flinch at the sound. Peggy is shocked into silence, her eyes wide as she stares at what must be something familiar to her being treated awfully and Tony's arms tighten around her, pulling her closer. Pulling her _away from them_. "Clint. Think about this from my - "

" _We just found you!_ " The silence is over and Peggy's face scrunches in confusion at the noise, the anger. She lets out a wail but Tony's too focused on Clint to do anything to calm her, "Don't you get that? We thought you were _dead_. All of us. Pepper _organized_ your fucking _funeral_." Tony swallows, looking down as Peggy's cries get a lot louder, reaching a pitch that even Steve gets a little concerned about really but Tony just cradles her gently, holding her close and rocking her. He ignores everything else, disrespectfully enough that Clint actually starts toward him, only stopping when Steve puts a hand out to stop him.

"Tony." He says softly, letting Clint turn away with a huff, "What is it you're so afraid of? Why - ?" He stops, not really sure what he's saying himself right now anyway. He just - wants to know _why_.

Peggy chews wetly on her sleeve again, toothless and drooling, tears still in her eyes. Tony wipes them away with his thumb. "Do you think this is fun for me?" He whispers, looking down at her, and Steve shuts his eyes at the sound of his voice; clogged with the trace of tears. "I left you all. I left my life, my _everything_. I took only what I knew I couldn't live without and - " He stops, lifting his bracelet again and handing it to Peggy to play with, "I love her. I - I never thought that I would love _anything_ so much as I do with her, but I do and I can't let anything happen to her. The way I live, who her father is, there's too many people that would try to take her away. I can't have that happen. I _won't_ let that happen." Glancing up at Steve, he almost seems to plead and that, really, is what convinces him, "Please understand that."

The bracelet beeps at something Peggy clicks and Tony gently takes it from her and clips it onto her tiny wrist, adjusting it enough that it doesn't slip off immediately. Curious, she smiles at the chill on her skin and pokes at it, jiggling her arm and watching it slide down it. 

"It's not about lack of trust." He continues then, watching his daughter try to work out what she should do next with this new 'toy', "I just can't afford to take you by your 'word'. However reliable you think it is."

"Tony I - we can't _lose_ you again."

"And I can't lose my daughter. That's a lot more important than just having Iron Man at your disposal."

"You aren't just _Iron Man_ to us." Clint spits, the tone contradicting what he says really, but Steve doesn't bother letting him know that and focuses more on Peggy. The tears from before are already forgotten and she seems mesmerized by her father's technology. 

Tony smiles, "Debatable. And anyway, I wasn't even talking about _you_. I meant Fury." Clint opens his mouth to answer but Tony beats him to it, "You know exactly what I mean, so don't you dare defend him. Loki could - I don't know - Loki could _solve World Hunger_ or something like that and Fury would still see him as some kind of enemy to be taken down."

It's the truth and it's a valid reason for Tony's disappearance, and maybe that's why it hurts so much. Telling them about the pregnancy would have sparked questions immediately and, though Tony's ability to lie has always been something to be a little worried over, Natasha at least would have known and Loki would have been the next line of thought. Fury would have reacted with enough anger to drive him away, _Clint_ would have probably been the one to tell him, and if they had never had Loki help them in battle like he has been this past year, they would never have even _tried_ to accept it. 

Tony's right. And that stung.

What sort of friends gave someone only one option?

"If you'd never have met Loki this wouldn't have happened." Clint mutters, defending the organization he works for despite being asked not to, "I mean why - "

"You think this is all on Loki, don't you." 

Tony's given a look from both of them, because that really speaks for itself. "Well, _yeah_. He's the one who got you pr - "

"No." Tony snaps, glaring at him, " _Yes_ , he got me pregnant, but I've had enough of the assumptions. You did it, Xavier did it and - " He pauses, seemingly remembering that they're missing a bit of information, "Look, you're not the first people to know about Peggy okay, Rhodey knows too." _What_? "He promised to never tell anyone at all. Not even Pepper. And he keeps those kinds of promises."

" _Those_ kind?"

Tony's smile is a little strange to look at, "He knows what I've been through before and he knows how much this means to me. He - he made me talk to an expert on ... " He shuts his eyes and Steve steels himself for whatever is coming next. Usually, whenever Tony can't even find the words to explain something, it's pretty bad. "On people like me. And they all - they all _assumed_ that it was because of Loki as well. Just like you. That his magic had somehow done something to me or that - " He takes a breath, looking down. "It's not all on Loki is what I'm trying to say here."

"People like you." Steve echoes, staring at him. "What do you mean?"

Tony opens his mouth to answer but Clint does it for him; his voice cold, icily so. "Mutants." Tony looks at him, "He means Mutants. Don't you."

Mutants. There had been a debrief on that a while back, Steve thinks he remembers hearing about. People with strange powers, abilities, government-feared outcasts. 

Tony blinks, looking down again. "Yeah."

"You fucking son of a bitch." Tony doesn't even blink at Clint's words but Steve reacts enough for both of them, "You lying, manipulating son of a bitch. What can you do? What - ?"

"Oh it's nothing worth mentioning, calm down." Leaning back against the headboard, Peggy settles on Tony's chest a lot easier and has, apparently, still not lost any interest in the bracelet so far. "I've got a mild healing ability. It's nothing special, expect that it's probably the only thing that's keeping me alive; even _with_ the arc reactor." Taking a deep breath, he continues in a low, mono-toned voice. Detached. "I've also got a fully functioning womb, always have really, and - according to a Dr Hank McCoy - I'm not the only man in the world that can get pregnant. It's just - kept on the low, because, hey. Mutant and hated, not a nice life." Leaning his chin just slightly over Peggy's hair, he shuts his eyes. "Fury and Loki's status as our enemy is just one of the reasons I ran away. And why I'm _still_ running."

"If you don't want to tell us, don't." Steve murmurs, looking at Tony's face and really not liking what he sees.

"Fuck that." Clint spits, "He owes us an explanation."

"Clint, _enough_."

Peggy sucks at the metal on her wrist, her head turning to stare over at them with the tiniest frown over her face. Disapproving almost. "No." Tony says softly, "He's right Steve. I owe you an explanation and if I'm leaving after today, it probably won't even matter that you know anyway." Patting at her father's face in comfort, Peggy rubs her head against his chest, wriggling in his arms until Tony gets the picture and holds her closer, rocking back and forth. "When I was 16." He starts, his voice cracking until he clears it. He doesn't look at either of them as he speaks, and that in itself tells Steve exactly how long he's kept this a secret. "I slept with a History Major in my dorm. Becoming pregnant with his kid was kinda how I found out about what I was and I ... miscarried a few months later."

It almost doesn't seem real, what with how calmly it's said but Steve can actually _imagine it_. Disturbingly vivid in his mind's eye, but maybe that's just the artist in him coming back out. But he can see it all and maybe that's why Tony didn't want them to know. Because Tony hates pity and _this_ , what Steve is imagining, is definitely stirring some pity.

He can see Tony alone in his room. Tony only with his thoughts and fears. Tony afraid to tell anyone, watching scandals with other teens being pregnant and knowing he has to hide it himself. Tony starting to like the idea. Tony mourning alone, in his dorm, seeing the 'father' and wondering whether he should tell him or - 

"I used protection since then, or just mostly stuck with women but - I still had a son when I was in my mid-20s. Gave him away. He lives in Albuquerque, I think. I cut ties, I didn't want to know." A hand on his knee leads to a flinch, memories probably stirred up and Steve removes it quickly. Clint's quiet in the back, thank God, listening, "The first two ... were accidents. But - about three years ago, I actually _tried_. I mean, I wanted and - and I almost got. Donors, one-night-stands, whatever. But my body obviously didn't like the idea as much as me."

"Why did you never tell any of us about this?"

"It wasn't exactly a topic that I liked to talk about, Steve. And anyway," Lifting Peggy up from under her arms, he turns her and kisses her nose as she flails in his hands, patting at his cheeks, "I didn't ever think I'd even need to. I never thought that I would _ever_ have another child again. So, _yes_. This is all down to Loki but not in the way you think it is. My daughter - her being healthy, her being _here_ in the first place, is what's all thanks to him. "

And, as if on the world's cue, a door opens downstairs with an echoing click. Booted footsteps sound below the room, and the rustle of bags is clearly heard even from where they all are.

Clint visibly stiffens at that but Peggy reacts in stark contrast; she claps her hands at the routine sound that she clearly so recognizes and smiles wide and delighted, trying to sit up against Tony's chest. Steve stands immediately - the solemn mood that he'd gotten into vanishing as adrenaline takes over and he turns toward the door to ask, but it's Tony that confirms it anyway - speaking down to his daughter as she squeals toward the door, " _Yeah_." He grins, "Daddy's home."

"Shit." Clint mutters beside Steve, unconsciously edging toward the door behind him and Tony turns to him with a dry look, "Relax. He probably already knows you're here."

"That's supposed to be relaxing?"

Tony shrugs, laughing at Peggy's ecstatic sounds when the footsteps then sound near the stairs; keys jangling, "How comes you're never this happy, when _I_ come home?" It's a little too domestic to even relate to Tony and Steve can't help but imagine the three of them in some large, decorated house somewhere. A family.

"We should leave." Clint says, looking at Steve and Tony glares at him.

"Relax." He repeats, "We're not going to be here for long, anyway."

"Tony - " Whatever angry comment Clint starts is cut off immediately by the door opening. Peggy propels herself off of Tony's lap to land on her hands on the bed, looking up at Loki just as he walks into the room.

Completely ignored, Steve watches as Loki walks forward to pick his daughter up as she reaches for him, and a strand of his hair is clasped in her fist as she smiles up at him, " _Hello_." Tony slides off of the bed, pressing a short kiss to Loki's cheek as he passes and reaching for the bags that have already been dropped on the floor. He pulls free a diaper bag but - 

"Don't bother." Loki tells him, finally glancing over toward Clint and Steve for just a second, "I don't believe that that bad _smell_ is her at all." Clint's shoulder rise at that jab but Steve shakes his head at him. Tony simply rolls his eyes and takes Peggy from Loki, laying her down over the bed.

"Be nice."

"No." Sitting on Peggy's left side, he strokes a line down the top of her head, "They should not be here."

"You shouldn't be on this planet." Clint snaps, glaring at him, and cringing as Tony ignores them all and methodically deals with Peggy on the bed, cleaning her and wiping her down before wrapping a new diaper around her, "Or taking our friend away from us."

"It is _his_ decision." Loki points out, giving Clint a bored and irritated look. "Perhaps if you were a little more understanding, he - "

"Thank you." Steve interrupts, before an argument about Tony's well-being and happiness can begin. The entire room looks at him at that, and Peggy coos on the bed, sucking on her toes. "You saved my life against Doom a few months ago. I never got to thank you before." He doesn't miss the genuine smile that Tony gives him at that. Neither, according to the way he slumps against the wall beside him, does Clint. 

Loki sneers though, before clearly realizing that Steve is being completely serious. He doesn't look surprised, doesn't look like he even cares at all, and it's only when one of Peggy's feet thump against the bed as she kicks does he blink and notice that he's staring. "Hm." Is all he says, turning away and slowly picking his daughter back up. He rocks her as Tony packs away and just like that, they're ignored again.

Steve almost feels like an intruder on some family moment that he's no right to see and maybe that's how _Loki_ sees them. Still, if Loki had ever swallowed his pride enough to help his enemies in battle on _Tony's_ request, then Steve could do the same and help.

"Where are you planning to go?" He's given a withering glare from both of them. "I mean - how far? From here?"

"That kind of defeats the object if we tell you, Steve." Tony tells him, sitting on the bed ad heaving up another bag to rifle through it, turning toward Loki, "Did you get some more hats?" Loki reaches past Tony with one hand, into another bag, and pulls free a tiny little yellow hat. "Oh. Great, what about - ?"

"Are you leaving right _now_?" Clint steps forward. Loki glares at him for even moving before turning his gaze back down to Peggy and murmuring something to her while she gazes up at him and plays with the hair in her hands, "Tony?"

"No." Tony shakes his head, looking through the bags still, "We haven't decided when yet but it's as soon as possible. Even if you haven't told anyone, like you said, there's still a reason to suspect and sooner or later someone will follow you and find us here. I can't risk that." A hand clasps Tony's knee just as Steve had done before, but in contrast it isn't flinched away and Tony leans against Loki's arm. 

No one says anything for a long while and Peggy sniffs when it all becomes a little too silent. And when Loki glances down at her, she lets out a little wail. Not quite upset enough to really cry but getting there.

When she sucks on her fist, and turns toward Tony, she's lifted by her other parent just as he pushes himself up against the headboard and lifts his shirt up slowly. He holds her close, supporting her head with one hand as she suckles. Steve doesn't think he'd ever get used to that sight and he clears his throat when Loki raises an eyebrow at his staring. 

The last time they had been here, Tony had said that being in labor had been something that he had never thought he would have gone through before. _Lie_. He had also said that Loki had used his magic to help the birth so there had not been a caesarian. If what Tony had said about his mutation had been true, then that is also a lie. Huh. Guess Loki must have been teaching him then, or Tony is just a little better at this than they have all ever assumed him to be.

"Your Captain stares far too much." Tony smiles, looking up from feeding Peggy.

"He's just overwhelmed with how handsome you are." In the corner of the room, Clint gags into his hand, "Clearly. Clint is too."

"Fuck you."

Peggy has enough after a while and turns her face away with a frown. Tony lifts her onto his shoulder and rubs her back gently, patting and smoothing, until she burps toward the wall. "Alright, darling." Laying her back over the bed, he wipes at her mouth with a tissue and runs a finger over her stomach, "Time for a nap now, I think." 

A pacifier is placed into her mouth and she sucks on that as she looks around at everything around her, poking at the bracelet still on her wrist. Steve watches her, biting down on his lip, but he jerks to attention when Loki suddenly stands to sort through the bags. A pause, and at least he has the grace to look a little sorry that that is the only reaction his presence gains, and then he's around the other side of the bed, "Get out of there Barton." Clint spins around from where he's been sneaking into a nearby room, and the next thing he knows is that it's shut and locked.

"What if I get Dr Selvig?" Steve blurts out and Tony looks at him with a blink, "In front of Fury and SHIELD officials? I mean - I could use his mind-control device and that'll show them that I'm not being mind-controlled and - "

"What's your point Steve? Mind-control isn't the issue here."

"Well, once they're convinced that I'm speaking out of my own mind, I could vouch for you." He looks at Loki. "For both of you. For your family." Turning to face Clint, he adds firmly, "We both could." It takes a second, but Clint nods, sincerely enough - even though he looks a little disgruntled doing so. 

The flush on Tony's face that had spread after Steve's first couple of words is now dark enough to show the intense of his gratitude, but even then, Steve knows it isn't enough, "It might not work, Steve. I'd still be risking everything. Hell, we'd all but be directly _telling_ Fury about this all. My mutation, Loki, our daughter - "

"Then get ready." Clint adds in, "Be ready to leave at a moments notice so if it _doesn't_ work, you won't get caught. Get your bags moved, get everything away but give us one day to try and convince them all and if it fails, you can still get away."

"I - " Tony looks at Loki, frowning, before turning back, "That _could_ work but - " Steve practically feels his face light up, "I said _could_. But it - _why_ \- "

"We want you back Tony." Clint answers whatever it is Tony's trying to say. And when he's not corrected, he continues, "Not just as Iron Man. As you. And if we have to drag Loki along with you as well, then fine. But - don't make us lose you again." Blinking, he looks down. "Not again, Tone."

"Clint." Tony murmurs, softly, and Peggy smiles at Clint in contrast to how everyone else is feeling. It almost makes the situation laugh-worthy. "I'm sorry I - "

"Hey you wanted to have someone's babies. You chose the wrong guy. I'm angry, I _was_ angry, but I get it. And I want you back more than I want you gone for what you did." Looking down at Peggy he smiles, "The breast-feeding machine and all."

Loki slowly sits on the bed and looks at them strangely; probably trying to find the sincerity and search for the lies he's such an expert in. He obviously doesn't find any because he then looks at Tony as though saying 'your decision' and that immediately gains him about a hundred points in Steve's book.

"I - " Tony swallows, his eyes darting between Loki and his daughter. The two main issues that he has to think around and the two people that he clearly loves the most in this world. "I'll - I'll think about it." Glancing up at them then, he smiles, "I'll give you a day's warning before, whatever decision. I promise."

"Good enough for me." Clint says, scratching at his neck awkwardly, before pushing off of the wall, "We'll uh, we'll go now."

"Stay," Tony offers, looking at the bags, "I'm pretty sure there's a pizza in there, and if not the kitchen's full anyway. Have dinner with us."

"Can they cook?" Loki asks, grunting at an elbow in his ribs but smiling nonetheless. Five more points. 

Clint looks at Steve, letting him answer. "We'll think about it."

Tony nods, rocking Peggy in his arms as he lifts her to put her to sleep and he walks past into one of the rooms, kicking a car seat out across the floor and letting Loki lift it onto the bed. Peggy is buckled inside and Loki lifts the handle to carry her downstairs with the both of them.

Clint half follows before stating, "Thought about it, we'll stay. I'm starving."

Tony laughs as he follows Loki down the stairs, walking past the put the pizza he'd taken with him into the kitchen and Loki places Peggy's seat onto one of the chairs, letting her look out over the table. She fusses for a while but a magic light show from her father distracts her enough as she stares up at green wolves and deer running around her head.

It's enough to relax Steve at least as well and he sits opposite her, next to where Tony's likely going to sit, and watches as Clint threatens Loki "just in case" before sitting beside them. Loki, in contrast, is the prince of politeness and answers each and every question with the air of royal conversation. 

And if Steve pretends really hard, he could imagine himself being an ordinary man, invited to a friends house to eat dinner and visit their newborn child. It's not a life he'd repel, really, and looking at Tony's daughter right now, he honestly couldn't imagine not seeing her again.

All he needs to do now is convince everyone else of that.

.


End file.
